In a reflection on marriage and career goals in the New York Times, Esau McCaulley writes: "Love always has an element of death to self."
This challenges the modern definition of love as intense positive feeling or interest. Real love goes deeper than interest or pleasure. According to Tim Keller, to love somebody means to place your happiness inside their happiness. Sometimes that means you won’t immediately be fulfilled. In his book “The Meaning of Marriage,” Keller says the purpose of marriage is not self-fulfillment but self-sacrifice. This goes against our culture’s definition of love and marriage. There’s a lot to say about this, but I find it both fulfilling and challenging at the same time.
Encouraging because it helps me to see that love is not the shallow, curated version that you see on Instagram. Challenging because it requires way more of my life than just feeling.